Catching Up #018
When life gets a little too much, what do you do?
It's been hard for me lately, and often, for no reason at all. I can't place a single reason, I just feel down and not myself. A few weeks ago, it was tough on me. But it's been getting easier.
I've been writing, praying, seeking (and finding) the positives, showing gratitude, being more patient (or at least, trying to), and making room in my days for more love, kindness, and little joys.
It's a working progress, but I'm getting somewhere. I've found myself praying when I want to cry, breathing when I want to snap, and writing when there's just too much in my head. One of the things I've found to be really helpful is the Breathe app, when I'm really upset, frustrated, or down, I go upstairs and turn this app on and it's been great so far!
Other than all the messy stuff, I've actually been doing great. Life is good, it's warming up, I'm here and happy — I just need to remember how blessed I am, and give thanks for everything I've got more often.
Here's what I've been up to lately.
Last week, we got our last huge snowstorm (I think... I hope) It was pretty bad. My hands froze when I was scraping the snow off the car before work, and the office was empty, and some neighbourhoods near us lost power. But it was the winter I was hoping for. It was cozy, and although it was freezing outside, it made me feel warm inside because it was so beautiful. That being said, I'm ready for summer now!
Being in love with your best friend is something else, it's always fun, it's always familiar, yet at the same time, it's never routine or boring, it's challenging, it's stress, it's bills, it's birthday parties, it's arguing over dishes and making up with a walk to the mailbox, it's real and it's unlike anything else in the world but I feel like I was born to do it. I love love. And I love love with him.
After church every Sunday, we go to Jay's parents' house for lunch and to visit, because we don't see them all week. I love these days, they're fun and full of love and laughter and they make my heart feel so warm. Plus, it helps that Jay's mom is incredible and makes the best food!
So, so thankful for these skies that remind me of my Hawaii home.
Last week, I had a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. It was one of those days where you're upset for no reason, and anything and everything upsets you, and you kind of just want to be miserable. Know what I mean? Then Jay brought home flowers and pizza and hugged me and let me cry and everything was fine again. Sometimes we just need that person who understands and is willing to be patient through the ups and downs, and will come home with flowers and a kiss. I love him. I'm so lucky and undeserving.
For a while, I was always rushing. Rushing to get dressed, put my makeup on, eat a quick breakfast, forgetting to pack lunch, rushing, rushing, rushing.
I know that's not good, for my mental or physical health. So I've been trying to slow down. I now start my mornings by sitting down to eat my breakfast while doing devotionals, I make lunch for work, and I've been taking my time doing things that I used to rush.
It's made a big difference for me, because I'm much more aware and present.
Another thing I've been doing is taking vitamin B12 and D3, which are really good for your brain — they help with memory and focus and overall brain health, happiness, mood, and so many more awesome things. I've only been taking them for a little over a week, but I have noticed some positive differences so far!
Last night I heard the news that my favourite university professor had passed away at 58. I've never been so heartbroken over a loss like this of someone who I'm not directly related to, but I felt it last night. I cried, and I felt a bit empty. He was the professor that pushed me to believe in my writing, to branch out and be more creative and bold, and write for me. He was unbelievably talented, and honest, and inspiring. As soon as I found out, I rushed over to Amazon and purchased his book. I can't wait until it arrives so I can relive his words. I'm so grateful to have been in his courses, and I'm honoured to have heard all his stories. He will be missed.