thoughts

Life Lately: Two more weeks left in Hawaii

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The title of this post makes me cringe. If you read my last life update, I had two MONTHS left in Hawaii. Time is really escaping me! It’s hilarious too, because I had this entire elaborate plan of posts to write, but I have no time to write them. I’ve been so, so busy lately. Here’s what I’ve been up to…

Packing, packing, and more packing. The last few weeks have been full of running to Home Depot to buy more boxes, paper cuts, lots of dust and heavy lifting, garage sales, and rediscovering old photos, trinkets and memories. The movers came and took everything, and next week all the furniture will be gone. I purchased my one-way plane ticket. Now it’s REAL! Any guesses where my destination will be? 👀

I started writing again! (Not on this typewriter, because inefficient and I gave it away to a kid at the garage sale, but you get the point). I finally started writing my book way, way back in January (oh, God), but it got put on pause because of travel and starting a new job.

In the shower the other day, where most of my life-changing thoughts happen, I wrote an entire scene in my head. I hopped out of the shower and brought it to life on my computer. Slowly but surely, it’s coming along and it feels great!

Any other writers out there? Please tell me I’m not alone with my shower thinking! 🙄

In between everything else, I’ve been trying to find time each day to slow down, let my brain turn to mush and watch a show (I’m really into Parks & Rec and Twin Peaks right now!), read a book (currently reading The Child by Fiona Barton!), or go for a walk around the neighborhood.

Mother’s Day was beautiful. I felt so lucky to spend it with my mom for the first time in 3 years! (I can’t believe I was away that long… sorry mom!) We took her out to brunch at restaurant that overlooks the entire island, and I think she felt really special, which was the point ❤

Since it was Mother’s Day, I also spent some time walking down memory lane and found these photos. This was the last photo I took with my stepmother before she lost her battle to cancer. She was a very special person to me, and I feel grateful for the 10 years she was in my life. And this little angel was her therapy pup, his name is Chemo! 😊

The weather here has been pretty strange, and I can’t help but think it’s because the island doesn’t want me to leave (I sound like LOST. Remember that show?!) In all seriousness, the Hawaiian culture is very in tune with nature and spirituality – so it’s hard not to think this way. When I was vacationing here back in August/September last year, we went up to the summit of the mountain to watch the sunrise the day before we left to go back to Canada. And it poured, we were covered in clouds, and we didn’t have a sunrise. Never in the 20 years that I’ve lived here, has that ever happened. I took it as a sign that I shouldn’t leave. Now that I’m about to leave for good this time, it’s been cloudy, gloomy, rainy for months. Call me crazy…

Although it’s been pretty stormy and gloomy lately, sometimes the sun peeks through the clouds and lights up the sky with orange and yellow hues. And that’s like life, really. It can be bleak, dismal and dark. Sometimes it feels as though you’re under constant cloud-cover. But then there are moments when the entire world explodes with color, the clouds open up, the air stills, the birds sing in unison, and all feels right.

Amidst all the craziness that IS life, I live for moments like these. I hope you find some beauty and some calm this week.

 

 

*Some links may be affiliate links because these 4 cups of coffee a day won’t pay for themselves! 

Life Lately: Two more weeks left in Hawaii

What are your daydreams?

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One morning, I was staring out the window while eating my breakfast and I let my mind completely run free. Instead of thinking about all the things I had to get done that day, I just let myself daydream, I allowed the “what ifs” that I normally shut up, I welcomed wonder, I bounced from thought to thought and I did it all while watching clouds drift by.

Do you want to know what I thought about? I thought about…

How much I wish our society wasn’t based around working and paying bills.

Moving to Europe to learn how to make cheese, or excel at pottery, or own a flower shop.

My upcoming road trip across America and all the gas station pit-stops, Americana roadside attractions, and new freckles I’ll get.

My future Dalmatian puppy sitting in the front seat of my future Subaru or Volvo station wagon.

The possibility that all of this is just a huge simulation, or that there are “lizard people” running rampant (I’m on a documentary kick right now, okay don’t judge me).

How obsessed I was with dinosaurs when I was younger, and how I would crawl around on my hands and knees and collect egg-shaped rocks (aka dinosaur eggs) and name them all Courtney.

Becoming a mother, it’s all I want! I can’t wait to raise a family, and make them cute lunches for school, and clean up their messes, and teach them to be kind and open-minded above all else.

Sailing the seas and getting caught in a storm. I’m not quite sure why, but I think about this often.

What about you? What do you daydream about? 😊

What are your daydreams?

Don’t Forget

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The other day I was eavesdropping on a couple next to me (don’t act like you don’t do it). The lady sat down next to her husband and was reminding him to take his medication, asking him if he remembered to pack Kleenex, and telling him about the long list of to-do’s she has waiting for him back at home. He kept saying, “I won’t forget, I won’t forget, I won’t forget.” And that got me thinking about all the little things I don’t want to forget, the things that are so small, yet so important to me that I couldn’t stand not remembering. Not menial things, but things that from day-to-day, we all tend to forget about because they’re overshadowed by paying the bills, memorizing work presentations, and buying Christmas gifts (still have to do that…)

I want to remember all the little things in my every day.

To listen. Be curious. Remember birthdays (without an app). Remember things I’ve read, or movies I’ve seen again and again.

To memorize the pattern of freckles on his chest. Memorize poems. Memorize prayers.

To be spontaneous. Cheerful. Positive. Ambitious.

Be funny. Be happy. Be graceful.

I want to remember memories and special moments that helped carve me into who I am.

To remember how frigid the river felt on my toes. The feeling of sunshine on my shoulders and cheeks. The names of mountains and backcountry trails.

To remember the color of the towels in the bathroom. The price of ice cream at the corner store down the street.

To be adventurous and daring. To do things because I want to do them, not just because everyone else is.

To remember the sting on my knees after falling off my bike again and again and again.

To remember things we ate, special camping foods and birthday foods and “just because” restaurant outings.

To be honest and sure. To take photos and write everything down.

I want to remember who I am and where I came from, no matter where I am in life now.

To remember your hometown streets. The memories made there. The nicknames. The sunburns.

To remember to call and to write.

Remember the last time I saw you, the words we shared, the glances, the tears.

Remember the smell of lilies and gardenias. Remember to say “thank you.”

Remember to keep going, going, going.

I don’t want to forget to remember.

Don’t Forget